Survival of the fittest

Mom told me when I was ten, “Being a good person is very important. Never let anyone change how pure and forgiving you are. But don’t ever let someone use your niceness against you”. That ‘warning’ didn’t exactly make me any less naive but, I did look at the world from a different perspective. Every day of life has been an adventure, with me trying to figure out how the world works. Endless questions, obsessions and certain moments of truth, aren’t they what life’s all about?

Why do we ask for advice from other people? When no one can fully understand another person. We each have entirely different reasoning and beliefs. This is something I have accepted truly only today. It is very important to be happy with who you are. You’re amazing as an individual person. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. But, revealing exactly who you are to the whole world is not a good idea. As good as people are, they can also be pretty sly. Those people whom you think dropped down from heaven, they all have two sides. 

It is even more important to know yourself. You can’t go about conquering the world, when you’re not sure what you want in the first place. Give everything a chance. Thing’s aren’t always what 

It isn’t okay to be who you are, if you’re someone who speaks your heart wherever you go. This world will eat you right up. And, it sure as hell isn’t okay if you’re someone who think people mean everything they say. I was that person for a very long time. For those of you out there who actually believe in that, it’s time you look at life from a different perspective. Nothing has ever hurt me more than finding out how wrong I’ve been about someone. Because, for a head strong person like me, being right is everything. 

Have you ever met a new person and just connected instantly? And you can almost see them in your future with you? What I didn’t realize was no one really speaks their mind. Whatever they say is very far from reality. This trusting nature has landed me more disappointments than I can count. A little innocence is good but being so trusting doesn’t really get anywhere. 

When people ask a question, the truth isn’t always what the want. Sometimes giving them what they want is the best thing you can do. And most important of all to every girl out there who’s got a boy making her feel bad about herself: Boys will always be obnoxious. Even the good ones! They have a different way of life and entirely different personalities. Your wants and needs are entirely different from his. And, as for the bad ones, no guy is cute enough to be allowed to make you feel less than you are! Love life, don’t waste a minute of it over insecurities. 🙂

YOURS TRULY

                          Aaaaand I’m back! B) Man I’ve always wanted to do that! So, um, anyway, I know its been pretty long since i wrote. So to the people out there: If you guys actually read my blog I apologize for this whole spacing out. Its been a long time since I last wrote down what i felt. I guess I chose to right now because I kinda have a French final tomorrow and well procrastination is the writer’s delight, is it not? I’ve been up to a lot of stuff lately. Lots of changes. LOTS of new people, lots of new relationships. And yes, imminently lots of new things to get myself down about. But no, that doesn’t exactly have to be a bad thing. ‘Cause I believe that there’s no point in figuring out if your life is happy or sad. What’s more important is knowing your life is exciting and eventful rather than well, boring.

                        The new experiences from the new people have taught me a lot of things and have also made me admit to myself and the world several things that I never would before. Self-actualization…It’s the dream, right? As always I’m still in awe with life. The heartbreaks and disappointments do keep coming but my excitement isn’t dead yet. People keep saying that I’m innocent and maybe that’s why I’m happy with life despite what it throws at me. Maybe some day I’ll be cynical and jaded like ’em too. But for now all I see around me is a beautiful world with so many many opportunities to seek and a lifetime to experience. 

                           I think it’s time for a confession now. I probably didn’t write because wordpress has been a bit screwed up lately. For about two months none of my blogs got published and I got no response. I lost a great deal of confidence. As ashamed as I am to admit this, its time I did. I’ve insecurities too. I know, it’s no big deal ’cause everyone has insecurities. I just happen to be one of those people who don’t quite like admitting stuff. 😀

                         These three months I’ve been so busy worrying about the “Lameness” of my blog that I forgot about the reason I started writing in the first place. I wrote ’cause I loved it. This was, and still happens to be my most favorite thing to do with my time. I’m at ease when i write, I feel completely safe and in control of what is happening. Besides, I like how I feel when I write because everything is so picture perfect. We all know just how much I LOVE sounding like a smartass. 😉 I just to remind myself of all these things to shed the insecurities and write again. I hear ya! It did take quite long for me to realize all this. Nevertheless I am here now. And, what’s a writer without insecurities and other weirder emotional problems. 😀

                          Just because I haven’t been writing doesn’t mean my brain was on hold the past three months. oh, no. It’s been buzzing harder than ever. I constantly drift into these extremely long trains of thought. I’ve been questioning the origin of the universe and all the other fun stuff. Right now I’ve gotta say there is just one thing that’s on my mind pretty much all the time. College. I’m almost done with my 11th grade now. It’s just one more year then I’m off to college. It’s a new world out there and I don’t have a clue about it. That’s pretty hard for me because I’m the kinda person who never sets foot into anything without a whole pile of clues. 

                             The whole idea of having to start over. Again just frightens me. I’ve had to change many schools. It was only from my sixth grade my life was stable. So, now when I think that I’ve to go through that again in probably a different city it just leaves this huge knot my stomach. There are just so many questions in my head that it’s a wonder I don’t have ears shaped like question marks yet. These friends I’ve made, they’re kind of hard to let go. I get attached pretty quickly and 6 years is a long time. I know they’re irreplaceable. I just want people who can be at least nearly as awesome as them. 

                         Also, most importantly college is like the beginning of adulthood around here. More the freedom, more the vulnerability. I can see so so far ahead. I’ll have a job after college. Then it’ll be just me leading my own life. It’s all just so breathtaking. I’m just grateful for this feeling inside of me. As people say, “my innocence” that has me excited about everything. The only thing I have to say to anyone going through what I am would be to stay innocent. “Cause it’s a great feeling. Sometimes all you need to face the scariest of changes is that gut feeling that everything is going to be okay anyway. 

That’s all for now. Adios people. Or, is it Au revoir? 😀