The most important choices of life are sometimes based on reasons that may seem whimsical. Regardless, the heart wants what it wants and nothing else makes quite as much as sense. This burning desire isn’t just fueled by one wish. We yearn for a harmonious cacophony of unrelated events. A few knowing smiles and a bit of familiarity can settle any emotional storm. The best part of unexpected fortune is that there’s absolutely nothing to lose. No false hope. A happy accident of sorts. That strange daze gives you this sort of high you can’t ever recreate. At the end of the day we just want to be carried home. Kick back and relax after the roller-coaster ride. Protected until we have some solid ground to land on. Common ground.
Some days I don’t want to write. I don’t want to talk or be around anyone at all. There’s literally no particular thing I want to do, nothing but just be. An aimless life.. Ah.. It seems like “the dream”. Oh no, don’t you mistake this for depression! This is a beautiful feeling. It is one of those times when the mind is so easy to please. Maybe I’m not ecstatic but there’s no room for sadness either and that seems good enough. Some times there’s a little craving for music, other times not. Staring at the street from my window and observing the world is heartening in itself. Well, right now is one of those times for me.
If a day could begin without goals being set,
If it was all consequential: what you did and who you met,
If desire could be the cause behind every action
And there was no necessity for procrastination,
If you could care without cause
And love just because,
Oh if life were aimless . . .
When we’re down, every little flaw around us is obvious. Even a tiny bump in the road can seem like a matter of concern. I get so pissed sometimes.. for absolutely nothing. Must be all the studying I’m having to do lately. All the time away from my people. I get murderous every time my Giraffe of a benchmate hides my view of the cute guy or when one of my naturally annoying teachers decide to be a little more annoying. As I drown in that ocean of contempt for literally “every fucking thing”, comes along math class to resuscitate me.
No, I was never a huge fan of Math. Didn’t like it, didn’t hate it. This year, however, it’s different and THAT I’m grateful for. I’ve met a lot of people in my life. Interesting, good, bad, lame, moral, and on goes the list. But, never have I ever met someone like my Math teacher. He is hands down the best Math teacher there ever will be and also happens to be an even more exceptional person. Exceptional enough to have me waiting for Math class every day.
We see flawless people on TV everyday. I do, I mean, I’m a Sherlockian! But this is my first encounter with such flawlessness in reality. I can’t even begin to understand how someone with accomplishments this huge, could be so kind, down to earth. In a world where children are considered to be hilariously inferior to adults, this man treats us like we matter. Perhaps it’s all of his well earned respect, that makes it seem like impressing him with our potential will be one of our greatest achievements. We don’t know much about his personal life, or his life out of school itself to begin with. The thing is, I don’t think anyone cares! He is our Math teacher and how he is with us is all that matters.
All my life I had the idea that image was everything. Knowing how to handle people and getting them to think, what I’d like them to think of me was my life’s goal because I come from a generation where everyone admire good looking people with a sharp tongue and “cool stuff”. I see the vanity in all that now.
Character is everything. When no one who knows you would want to change a thing about you, THAT’s respect and THAT is the respect I hope to earn someday. If a person can make even MATH seem interesting, then THAT is the kind of people’s skill I’d like for myself. If I am ever known as somebody, someone like him is who I wanna be. What about you?