18 Already!? – Teenage crisis.

Go back to your childhood for a moment.

Are you there yet? Okay

Think of that one thing you’ve always wanted.

Do you have it now?

Did it change your life the way you expected it to?

All that I have ever wanted is freedom. To become an independent adult, make my own choices and be my own person. I have been over protected all my life and I thought that being a legal adult meant that I would no longer be controlled by anyone or anything. (I know. I’m an idiot.)

This January of 2016 I did turn 18. Huraaaaaah! I can drive. I can vote! what not? The world is my oyster. It was really surreal for the first couple of days. And then, slowly, the excitement died and I saw the unfiltered version of this big “change”. It was everything I did not expect it to be.

You know how when you want something real bad? It seems like the greatest thing in the world. An unsurmountable peak. And then when you finally get it, it’s no big deal anymore. Well, that’s exactly what happened with me. That and some more.

It took a while, but then it hit me. I am an adult. I have responsibilities. I don’t even know the electoral candidates’ last names and I’m supposed to vote. I don’t even have my own bank account, or a job that pays but I swindle money like it grows on trees. All I wanted was passion in my professional life and here I am hating every bit of college.

It’s ironic that I spent all of my life waiting for this part of my life, and now that it’s here, I have no idea how to handle it.

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Maybe being this lost will urge me to find my way.

Sincerely,

The Obsessive Writer.

 

Yours Truly 2#

Our goals, and choices ultimately define who we are. To me, goals are constantly changing. But all of our goals, well my goals, have one common factor: contribution. In the end, we’re all just trying to find our place in this world to try and make a difference. 

There were a lot of things that led me to pick engineering and yes, passion was definitely one of them. For some reason we all believe that the reputation of the school we go to says a great deal about how talented we are once we graduate. I strongly believed that, when I spent a great deal of time working for my exams. 

As a result of all that turmoil, I am currently a student of Computer science Engineering at PSG college of Technology, Coimbatore. Though this name may have some effect on a local or at the most an Indian, it’s just a name to anyone else.

   
 
My first year at college is about to come to an end and what I have come to understand is that, no matter where you go, you’re still going to experience college. If you’re a girl you’re going to experience a lot of drama, maybe some friendship and definitely a lot of fun. I’m honestly grateful to have all this in my life. This has been more educational than anything I’ve done so far. 

It’s been a while since I had a one on one conversation with my faithful readers, so this post has been long over due. You guys are amazing people! I keep coming back to indulge myself in writing because of how responsive you are. Thank you for that. 🙂 

– The Obsessive Writer. 

I CAN

Life is good until people start telling you what to do. I mean, what is up with that?   Where do they get off thinking that they can actually judge your capabilities. They seem to confuse outright dictation with advice often and it’s got to stop. I’m in my 12th grade and getting into college is the only thing this year is all about. So, now, apparently everyone has an opinion on where I should go.

I accept defeat. I’m not calm or composed anymore! Their constant annoyance has finally got me. It’s got me real good and I’m officially panicking, questioning my potential and all the other fun stuff. I hit a new low today. A point where I started convincing myself that the ordinary, average choices of careers aren’t all that bad.

To me, the worst thing ever would be – being titled average. All my life I was the exceptional one. How does one accept being average after that? I don’t understand the world either. Have I simply stopped being myself anymore? Is that why they generalise me? If this is them trying to scare me into studying, they better not hope for me to be grateful later. Because I’m seriously not feeling it. 

So let me make it clear to everyone out there including “them”. I know this year is important for my life. I know I need good scores to go get into a good college and choose a rewarding career. I’ll work my butt off for it, give it my all. I’ll ace every paper I’m given. I’ll choose the career I want, only because that’s what I want for myself. (emphasis on the I) I’ll be someone the world never forgets, I know I will. To every single one of “them” out there who think I can’t, all I have to say is,

I CAN.