Positively Pessimistic

Happiness is a tricky emotion. Some times all you need is a good hair day whereas some times it could be your birthday and not getting a particular call can wreck your world. You could have dreamed of something all your life, yearned for that one moment when you get to feel it in your grasp, waited for the day it is finally within your reach only to get tired of it minutes after you finally embrace it. Is it always just the thrill of the Chase? Then how do know if you want happiness just because you don’t have it yet? What happens once it’s yours? The pleasure lasts only so long as your attention span. The minute you think of something else, *Poof* it’s gone. I don’t know much about being happy. But, if you want to feel good, I’ve got plenty of reasons:

1. You’re still alive, right now, you exist. You get to experience every aspect of life regardless of if it is good or bad. It’s all equally epic if you open yourself up to it.

2.Internet

3.Internet

4.Internet

5.Seriously you have Internet you can do anything you want!

Cheer up! 😀 Have a great day. 🙂

The Dream

Every night, we meet in a recurring dream.

Making new promises, to redeem.

Your eyes locked on mine,

Our fingers entwine;

Two hearts beat as one,

All the masks are undone. 

I couldn’t walk, but with you I fly. 

Amongst the stars setting fire to the sky. 

© Abirami. 

Common Ground

The most important choices of life are sometimes based on reasons that may seem whimsical. Regardless, the heart wants what it wants and nothing else makes quite as much as sense. This burning desire isn’t just fueled by one wish. We yearn for a harmonious cacophony of unrelated events. A few knowing smiles and a bit of familiarity can settle any emotional storm. The best part of unexpected fortune is that there’s absolutely nothing to lose. No false hope. A happy accident of sorts.  That strange daze gives you this sort of high you can’t ever recreate. At the end of the day we just want to be carried home. Kick back and relax after the roller-coaster ride. Protected until we have some solid ground to land on. Common ground.

Aimless life.

Some days I don’t want to write. I don’t want to talk or be around anyone at all. There’s literally no particular thing I want to do, nothing but just be. An aimless life.. Ah.. It seems like “the dream”. Oh no, don’t you mistake this for depression! This is a beautiful feeling. It is one of those times when the mind is so easy to please. Maybe I’m not ecstatic but there’s no room for sadness either and that seems good enough. Some times there’s a little craving for music, other times not. Staring at the street from my window and observing the world is heartening in itself. Well, right now is one of those times for me.

If a day could begin without goals being set,

If it was all consequential: what you did and who you met,

If desire could be the cause behind every action

And there was no necessity for procrastination,

If you could care without cause

And love just because,

Oh if life were aimless . . .

© Abirami

Addicted.

We are all slaves of our conscience and desires – The two primary things that have their influence over our lives. Our emotions for instance: anger, sorrow, lust, love we just can’t suppress them no matter how hard we try. Another serious factor that has complete and absolute control over us would be our addictions.

What are these addictions you ask?
Well yes, drugs are the easiest to get addicted to. That is more health oriented than I’d like for this post and It is mostly because of several other things in life that pushes one towards it.
This post is more about the more deadly, subtle addictions that sometimes we’re not even aware of. Leave alcoholism, anorexia, OCDs, plastic surgery addictions and other health oriented stuff out of your mind as you continue reading.

Let’s start simple.

An overachiever is addicted success cannot go through a tiny piece of failure and come out of it alive. I’d know. An invalid who is always excused and given special rights cannot survive in a world where he is treated an equal. An influential man can never stand in line. He simply doesn’t even know the way of life of the lesser mortals. A beautiful girl can never go without satisfactory attention in public. A successful person thrives on compliments. This list goes on and on and on so I think it is safe to assume that we are in a way addicted to our lifestyles. Maybe that is because we know only our life and learning to live differently might be hard but you have to admit that there is some compulsive obsession to have things going on the same way at those times when things fall slightly out of track.

These addictions are the little things. The less harmful ones. What you should watch out for, are the people. Every single one of us with or without a social life has this one person we just can’t go without. They may change from time to time. But they’re there! It depends on our individual luck if or not they’re good for us. Regardless. There is someone and they’re probably on your mind right now.

If they actually care about you and consider you to be something in their lives, then good! The sad part is, even if they don’t, we just can’t let go. Our minds are always smarter than our hearts, smart enough to fool it and at times we take advantage of that. Even when you know, so clearly that they’re not good for you, they don’t even care! You hold on to the good things that they do and convince yourself that it’s enough. THIS is the worst kind of addiction there is! And you just have to let go.

I know it’s hard. What you don’t realize is that it’s not really you fearing losing them, it’s you not wanting to be alone. You wanting the relationship. Because you’ve convinced yourself that you need it. Think for a minute. Just one. There was no relationship in the first place! The only person in it was YOU! Playing both roles. So it doesn’t really matter if they’re there or not! You can satisfy yourself regardless. At least you can save yourself some self-respect.

Choose the right people, the one’s who deserve you. It’s okay to fixate but invest yourself in the right people. I know I have. What about you?

The good, the bad and the original.

When I was little, the one piece of advice my sister always stressed upon was that it was very important to be unique. She’d say, “Anybody can be cool, but not Everybody has what it takes to be original”. Sometimes I’d think she said that just to spite me because I copied her lot. You know how little sisters are! 😀 I know now, being a sixteen year old, originality is something I rarely see. But then, is that all that’s important? Unique people are fascinating and interesting even but, they’re not always good. Their speciality sometimes takes a detour through psycho town. At times like that i realize I’d rather have a considerate, good person in my life than a “unique” pain in the neck.

Freedom.

What comes to your mind when you think of the word?

My think box is flooded with things like:

loneliness, courage, desire, bird, adult, emancipation, college, 1947, democracy, wind, wisdom, latenights, party, people….. And it goes on.

But you know what real freedom is? Freedom from judgement. Some people just go around walking the earth like they own it. I’m one of ’em. Ironically, when another self-centered know-it-all comes around talking to me like they own me, THAT, I’m not okay with.

Some people can be plain horrible. Inspiring but horrible. I met someone like that. Someone who had me worshipping him from day one. His high authority probably added to my reverence for him. The most inspiring teacher I’d ever met. In course of time the inspiration turned to intimidation and that my friends is what I’m here venting about. The man who first sowed my interest in the subject now makes me hate it. How am I supposed to deal with that?

I just tell myself and everyone else out there who have to go through this,

Don’t you worry, don’t you worry child
See heaven has a plan for you
                   -Swedish House Mafia.

When you’re in the ocean, be the shark. It’s better to be feared than to fear. There will always be dominating, inconsiderate people out there who just don’t give a damn. Getting through it with a straight face seems good enough for someone my age.

I wanted to be him from my first class. I wanted to be the man who now scares the hell out of me. This paradox of sorts has now got me rethinking who I wanna be.

Is it more important to be that demanding person who constantly has everyone under her spell or a noble, kind person procuring the attention and warmth of people who simply love being around me? So, I once again rely on the sole fact that I could be the grey. Not black, not white. The exception I always dreamed of being. What about you?