Lost in Frustration

They say, never expect anything in return when you do something for someone. That’s not really possible, is it?

Caring too much is never a good thing.

What once started out as a good thing, slowly transforms and the monster busts out of the closet. The helping hand soon attempts to choke the very person I helped when they act like dicks who never appreciate all the things I do for them.
And it’s very unlike me to take a hint and move on from these people who take me for granted.

What do I do?

I stay.

I help.

I do and I do and I do and I do some more. All for what?

More frustration.

Because humans are creatures of habit and that might as well be the reason behind my damnation.

Anyway, I hope you’ve all had a better day than me.

– Obsessed.

P.S. Please don’t mind the venting.

 

So what? I’m aggressive.

Some days you’ve just had enough. The world is infuriating and you can’t even type in a title for your blog post about it without breaking your keyboard. I know, life is supposed to be hard and all. But at times like this, I feel like this is unfair. This is cruel. It’s almost funny.. in a sad kind of way when literally everyone you ever counted on just let you down all at once. Maybe it was my fault.. not letting them know how much I counted on them. But then I think, Nah! at least this way they don’t get the satisfaction of having broken my heart. I’d rather have my pride than be seen weak. Not breaking out and swearing at them after all this is VERY hard. Which is why I don’t bother with lame standards like that.

Swearing and going all “aaaargh” is like my thing. I am the outburst expert if I may say so myself and if I could see myself exploding I’d probably have a long, hysterical laugh. :’D As I cant, I’m going to continue in this serious, pissed-off tone. Screaming at space and punching pillows and innocent bystanders like the couch cushions are my only outlet lately ever since I decided to go diplomatic. However, today, I didn’t care anymore. I had to let it out and i had to let it out right then and you know what? It felt GOOD. 

Are you here to say I should’ve turned the other cheek or tried to be forgiving? DONT BOTHER. If you’re in my place and some “saint” comes around preaching, screw ’em! Giving people what they deserve is not wrong just because I’m a girl. If that makes me a bitch, then so be it. When people bitch me I bitch back hard and that my people, is something I’m proud of. I was never a twirly little fairy, not planning on ever being one.

So… bring it on! I’m not going down without a fight. What about you? 

 

 

Feminism Unleashed.

Long walks on a deserted street in the dark. As fun as that sounds, dangerous is the go to word to be describe it lately.
Hell Yea!

It’s time for some seriously due feminism.

I have a curfew of 6 PM. I’m not even allowed to go to school by myself. I rarely get to hang out with my friends, and when I do, it’s at the most closely located pizza joint. You know why? Because I am a GIRL.

People have asked this question over endless eons, and I’m going to as well, again!

How is this fair?

As expected, you’ll say, no, it’s not! And I’m jus wondering here. How does that help me? Or any other girl? All the posts by the “understanding” men out there who think the undermining of the feminine gender should come to an end and how men should use their stronger physique to protect women and not over power them – they just sicken me.

People talk, they talk a lot, but they apparently do nothing. Except for offending me more by the day that is! A part of this world, a part of the male part of this world, actually understands and wants to do the right thing. Women can work as equals to men. They are given the same opportunities, yada yada. But, the EXACT same people are the ones who say, “she’s a girl!  If she can’t apologize why should I?” when they have a disagreement with their girlfriends. Or, “She actually thinks that she can pick a fight with me? She’s a girl!!” and the best, my personal favourite, “if a girl can get that pissed, watch me!”

I mean, what is up with that? Seriously? I get this impression that we are some kind of lowlives to whom the world is generous enough to give a few important rights and that we should repay them by being eternally grateful. And when one of us is nuts enough to ask the question, “Am I supposed to be submissive and let people be sexist to me?” all we get is an apparently obvious and oh did I forget to mention unsaid, “DUH!”

You think I’m pissed now? Oh! Wait till I finish. As if this wasn’t bad enough, they had to make it worse with the frigging movies! I seriously have to ask, does it just mean that you’re heartless if you’re a woman? Why does every movie, specifically Indian movie, portray the lead female role as the heartless, undecisive, “pretty” girl who just breaks the guys heart out of vanity! That is then followed by the song where he trashes and curses the girl and speaks of how evil she is and that song becomes an international sensation. I’m sorry, I didn’t know we were turning a blind eye to everything that men do.

These are just stuff that have to be said. And no I’m not going to be polite because I’m a “girl”. I want the big rights, I want the small ones, I want everything I deserve. And I deserve everything because I am a woman. A self-righteous one at that!

A big fat Maybe

Maybe.

That was my state of mind about writing this post. Dear education board: This is what happens when you suck the life out of every student with endless exams. But, I guess, I needed this break. It wasn’t that I didn’t have anything to write about. I actually had quite a lot of things I’d have liked to get out of my system and on to a paper. This was a more of a self induced writer’s block. I guess, I wanted to leave the whole “venting routine” out of my next post. 

One thing I know for sure is that every experience we have in life has something to do with who we are inside. The way we react to it depends on our character. I was always a polite person. (Yes, I realize how contradicting that maybe to my previous violent outbursts but, that’s only on paper guys! :D) As I was saying, I’m polite. As much as I love bringing people to their knees for not treating me right, I don’t get to that point of confrontation until it reaches that limit where it totally pisses me off. There’s this brief period of time where I put up with everything, with a smile on my face. 

This time that smile was more of a controlled frown. A lot of things irritate me but, what occupies the top of that list is people taking advantage of me. Especially people I don’t like. My recent unfortunate encounter was with this specific, annoying freeloader. Girl drama is the one thing in this world that can make me bolt, quite literally. Being the straight-forward person I am, the fake smiles and scheming bitchyness don’t come easily to me. But beware, I got the hang of it a while ago. 😉 The “maybe” here is that the girl reaches out to me at the weirdest of times and requests my company. Then it all goes to hell and she-devil unleashes her vanity. Maybe she just needs some help and the sad part is that I’m the only one who even understands that. 

Idiocy. That’s definitely number two on the list. Have you ever just went on ranting and gave this huge explanation to a complete dumbass who just sits there blinking? Let me tell you how that feels. It is the worst thing that can ever happen to you. 😐 That person may not even be dumb generally. Even a close friend who’s obnoxious to rational explanations can do the trick! Maybe it’s because I understand people that I expect them to return the favour. 

We all believe in something or someone. Be it God, religion, hope, love,  luck, a role model even, but there is always something. The belief in abstract things generally have a lower risk of infidelity. People on the other hand, that’s a whole new scenario. Fickle. fickle beings we are. In the blink of an eye the groom gets left at the altar, there’s a change in course in a love triangle, the people you believe in fail you. People you thought you knew turn out to be different sometimes. It maybe a bad thing or maybe just something you’re not okay with. 

This is a state of grace
This is the worthwhile fight
Love is a ruthless game
Unless you play it good and right
These are the hands of fate
You’re my Achilles heel
This is the golden age of something good and right and real
                                                                                              – Taylor Swift, State of Grace. 

Life is all about the maybe’s. The only certainty in life is its uncertainty. We have weaknesses that make every decision and opinion a blur. In my case, it’s the short temper and irritability which end up becoming the reasons for my rash actions. What do you think is your Achilles heel?