Go back to your childhood for a moment.
Are you there yet? Okay.
Think of that one thing you’ve always wanted.
Do you have it now?
Did it change your life the way you expected it to?
All that I have ever wanted is freedom. To become an independent adult, make my own choices and be my own person. I have been over protected all my life and I thought that being a legal adult meant that I would no longer be controlled by anyone or anything. (I know. I’m an idiot.)
This January of 2016 I did turn 18. Huraaaaaah! I can drive. I can vote! what not? The world is my oyster. It was really surreal for the first couple of days. And then, slowly, the excitement died and I saw the unfiltered version of this big “change”. It was everything I did not expect it to be.
You know how when you want something real bad? It seems like the greatest thing in the world. An unsurmountable peak. And then when you finally get it, it’s no big deal anymore. Well, that’s exactly what happened with me. That and some more.
It took a while, but then it hit me. I am an adult. I have responsibilities. I don’t even know the electoral candidates’ last names and I’m supposed to vote. I don’t even have my own bank account, or a job that pays but I swindle money like it grows on trees. All I wanted was passion in my professional life and here I am hating every bit of college.
It’s ironic that I spent all of my life waiting for this part of my life, and now that it’s here, I have no idea how to handle it.
Maybe being this lost will urge me to find my way.
The Obsessive Writer.